Good Morning everyone. It's early morning on Sunday and I couldn't sleep. There is a reason for not being able to sleep because I love sleeping in on weekends. Last Friday, I had a meeting with my new boss to discuss my heavy workload and possible split of 2 jobs that I have been doing for the past 5 months. The job is very very busy (busiest job I have ever done). Because I have had no support in this work, I have actively thought of quitting this job to join a family business.
This morning is another one of those days where my head is foggy and I am off of my centre. I can feel it. Friday meeting didn't go as I had expected. I only 2 things on my mind that day which would make me stay and I got neither. First, I asked for some support at work. Secondly, I want to do more of my work that I am more passionate about (that's why I took the role in the first place). I was told a strong NO to both.
Now that I have had the weekend off, I have had sometime to think and ponder, read books, ask my husband and friends for advice but my head is still foggy. I don't like what I hear from others on what I should do bec truth be told, I already know the answers myself but I am too afraid to do those things so I looked for other people's reassurances. But other people don't have to live my life. I do. So by that logic, I should listen to my inner voice.
When I struggle, I turn to a space to receive spiritual guidance. And today I found it in this video which speaks on "betraying yourself". If I go back to work tomorrow, and don't reopen the conversation to ask for help or to ask for more stuff that I want to do (I am so scared to do that but have to, to be able to stay true to myself). And then if i get the same answer as the one I got on Friday, I need to resign. Otherwise I would be betraying myself. We all know when others betray us, that hurts. I have had that too but man o man, when you actively make a conscious choice to betray
yourself, that is like putting poison in mouth and I have to live with it every.single.day if I do
things at work to please others. Here's the video that made me think and understand what "betraying yourself" means. Hope it helps you too: http://youtu.be/nWl4KMZIKik
Plus a wise man Steve Jobs said "your heart and intuition somehow already know what you truly want to become" and "your time is limited" - wise man! Google Steve Jobs quotes, you will feel inspired right away. I promise.