Awareness

My Golden Nuggets from Simon Sinek’s book of Leaders Eat Last

screen-shot-2014-02-12-at-4-14-18-pm.png

Difference between good leaders and great leaders

Leadership is a skill, can be learned and practiced. Leaders don’t consider themselves experts, they consider themselves students and act like it.

Good Leader is someone who is learning and is practicing, implementing what they learned around them.

A Great Leader: 

  • Well practiced and really understand prioritizing the needs of others around them more than themselves. 
  • Great leaders are willing to run head first into the unknown, into the dangerous. They have constant hunger to improve themselves, like a parent. You will never be an expert at parenting but you can always improve more and more. 
  • They don’t think of their rank as something they have achieved but rather as a stepping stone for learning more about themselves and others around them.

How to inspire greatness in just yourself but also around you?

There is power of environment, when we get the environment right, people around you and rise to greatness.

We are social animals, and we draw our happiness from our relationships. If you put people in good, safe and nourishing environments, we will naturally get trust and cooperation from the people in those environments. Trust and Cooperation are feelings and they are not instructions like you cannot tell someone to trust the leader, its different than feeling like you want to trust because you feel safe.

And leaders are responsible for creating that environment.

Likewise, if a team is working in an environment of fear each other, what you will cultivate in that environment is paranoid, cynicism, mistrust and self-interest. 

Most leaders think leadership is about being in charge, no, Simon says its about you being responsible for the people you are in charge of.

Then most leaders think everybody works for them, no, the leader works for their people. Make your people feel safe and they will give you their blood, sweat and tears to advance your vision. All they ask is you take care of them, hear them, see them. If you don’t take care of them, then they rise to protect themselves from their own leaders. 

We want people to give us their best of thinking.

Question to reflect on: How safe do you feel where you work? Does my team feel safe?

Disclaimer: Safety doesn’t mean there is no discipline, you cant get inn trouble, its not a charity where people just float along.

There is enough threat outside of your workplace, there is enough pressure that we don’t have control over.

But what is in leaders control is the environment and it is their responsibility - the environment to grow, the opportunity to build confidence, to build their best self, the opportunity to love the people I work with, the opportunity to go to work and enjoy it, opportunity to interact and build relationships. the opportunity to fail and try and try and try again and again.

What is Work Life Balance and how can we as a leader offer that to our staff?

Work life balance also speaks to the ability to feel safe. When there is work life imbalance, that is because someone feels safe at home but not at work or vice-versa, someone feels safe at work but not at home, that is what Work life imbalance eludes to, Simon says.

No amount of yoga or offering free lunch will cover the feeling of feeling unsafe at work. You need to show leadership and find out how people will feel safe and then take measurements or initiative accordingly for them to feel trust again.

If as a leader fears your own people, its because the leader isn’t taking care of their people.

How do we identify Leaders? How do I prep myself to be a Leader? 

We call someone a leader not because you are in charge, but they went first into the unknown, 1st towards the danger, 1st to take care of the people around them.

Simon says sometimes there are people at the top of the career ladder, they have all the authority but aren’t a leader (not taking care of the people around them). We as workers don’t wanna follow their vision or give them the hard work, sweat and tears. Then there are people at the bottom of the organization,  and are a leader because they know how to foster that safe environment for the people they work around and know how to take care of the people around them.

So leadership has nothing to do with authority, it has to do with - are you taking care of people around you? Having a position of authority simply means you have scalability or the ability to influence more people. 

Who can be a Leader? 

We ALL have the capability to be a leader, its not just for some of us! As social animals, it feels good to take care of others, to help others. And if it is so natural to us, its our instinct to take care of each other and so it feels so good when someone does something awesome for us without any expectations. It also feels good to help others.

Taking care of others releases Oxytocin, a feel good chemical. Taking care of others, being taken care of, even watching a generous act releasing the same chemical. This is possible only in an environment where we are able to take care of each other.

Benefits of being a good leader vs not?

When you do leadership right aka create environments where we take care of people around us - you are actually medically enhancing their well being, leading to happier workers who then go home and have happier families, happy people live longer.

Vs Bad leadership is medically killing people over time, where there is high stress and high anxiety, there is less empathy given the bad environment, bursting their immune systems, Cortisol is high.

What is leadership about really?

So leadership is not about the company, its not about the leading the company, you can run a company. Leadership is about leading the people. Mostly, someone gets promoted to a leadership position because they know how to do the work and now they get to be responsible for the people for the job you used to do. But no one is teaching these leaders how to take care of their people. And so of-course, leaders end up being managers because thats why I got promoted because I know how to do your job. We have to go through this transition, you are no longer responsible for the results, you are responsible for the people who have to get you the results. 

What are the characteristics of a great leader? And how can I take some actions to develop myself as a leader?

This leadership skills are students, it requires learning and practice. Its something has to be learned. Leaders talk about leadership, like golfers talk about golfers. Study Leadership. We all can, look around us and see leaders. It takes practice and its a daily practice. Its about putting others lives before us. 

It starts outside of work, it can. Its a muscle, has to be built.. small changes, daily practice, and if you practice a lot, you get better.

Hope you found this to be helpful. If you did, what is one thing you will implement?

This made me sad...

 

I had a beautiful women reach out to me for a discovery session few weeks ago. She was feeling very frustrated at the time of the call, struggling with her job (managing 2 jobs at work, feeling unengaged, not wanting to go to work and struggling at home with her husband, not feeling loved or connected, and not wanting to go home after work). When she saw the results she could have working together, excitedly she said yes to our work together! I couldn't be more happier for her...as she herself and her life was about to change!

I personally love it when women take ownership of how life has been hard on them (or there lack of no emotional support and they are on the verge of breaking).

Then after a day, I get the email of "I am not too sure and would like money back"

 

Now, this is SO NORMAL. She definitely was not the 1st one!

When we sign up to change our lives, most of us go in our heads to verify if we made the right decision and our "fearful mind" says...a 1000 What-if's. Then comes the usual war between mind and heart. The heart likes to take risks, longs to fly, wants to feel excitement and do the right thing. But we (me included) are naturally wired to hear the mind....and this gentle soul.....decided to listen to her mind. 

Listening to fearful mind....will change NOTHING for her and she will continue to feel safe and unhappy! That was her choice and I honour that that is where she is today.

This saddened me for a day......for her.....It truly did. I care a lot about my clients...most clients turn friends and family for me after their lives change for the better, after they feel like they are a new person. (Check out these amazing women's transformations)

But then I checked myself and thought, "She is doing her best today! This is all she knows and that is what she is willing to do today!" and then I CHOSE to let it go.....like a balloon shooting up in the air and eventually disappearing... (This is personal growth work linked to Attachment)

I only work with committed women that want an amazing life and are ready to "FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY". I am all-compassion coach when it comes to supporting you to get clear on what an ideal life and career looks like for you...PURSUING the dreams....is not EASY and that is why I DEEPLY HONOUR the women who are "Feeling the fear and doing it anyway", who are stepping out of comfort zones, women who have come to the workshops to be heard and seen and lets not forget the brave souls who chose to pursue our coaching work together! We need more women in the world....that takes a chance on themselves.....that build courage muscles...and take ownership of their lives.

NO ONE IS COMING TO SAVE YOU! NO ONE. You have got to love you....Be the best you can be....for yourself. BEC it fucking feels SO GOOD to believe in yourself and just GO FOR IT.

Listen: YOU ARE AT THE HEART OF ALL EXPERIENCES IN YOUR LIFE. If you don't like the experiences you are having, it means you need to GROW. Period. Nothing else will help.

A new pair of shoes won't help, complaining to friends won't help, more books won't help.....only dealing with fear and taking action would!

Here is what I have to say about FEAR....

Fear is the thing that stops us in our tracks! Fear does keep us safe but most of the time when there is no real safety issue, it kicks in even harder because you have given it power in the past. 

Moving through your fear does not feel good! THAT'S RIGHT. Because we are shaking up the old programming. As you work through your fears, you’ll usually feel nauseous, tired, angry, or upset while you are going through the process.

This is your ego trying to keep you safe. In order to deal with these emotions, it’s important that you do radical self care while plowing through your fears. Work with a coach, Get massages, take long baths, do yoga, hang out with people you love. This type of care will give you the energy you need to face those fears.

I think we can call use the learnings here, "For the next 10 days, what type of radical self care I am willing to do so that I can start with facing my one of the smallest fears and start building some courage muscles?"......Consider facing these fears: maybe its going out with no makeup on, or maybe its speaking up at work, or in work meetings about your true thoughts, or saying no, its showing up to a yoga/fitness class....or anything. Find something that you are scared to face and see if in 10 days, you can face it. 

Let me know in the comments below, what fear are you willing to face? The fear I am willing to face is...signing up for a fitness trainer. My fearful mind keeps thinking - You won't show up to the classes, don't waste money, or time or effort. What will people think if you don't show up because as a coach, you are not allowed to fail?"....

Can you see how wrong this fearful mind thinks and how wrong it is? I have faced enough of my fears to NOW know that "my mind forecast" is never as reality when I just GO FOR IT! 

I know what it feels like to be fearful...It feels very real to the mind, body, mood, feelings. But I am a doctor that takes their own medicine. I will be doing this - FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY. So let's tag along?

 The worst thing you can do is wait for it to “feel right” – that ain’t never going to happen! Don't chase it, it doesn't exist. The only way to feel better is to move straight through it.

Here’s the good news: the other side of your fear feels amazing. Once you walk through one fear, you build the confidence to keep stepping through others. The more you face your fears, the stronger you become at it. This is the path to becoming unstoppable. 

 

Working with me will get you the clarity and tools that will make you comfortable facing your fears by making yourself stronger. The thing about working with me is that I CARE deeply about my clients and their results in their life. 

When you are ready to do this 1 step at a time, I am here to hold your hand and transform you into the loving women you are meant to be, towards yourself and the relationships you hold. 

If you are ready, say yes to coming to the coaching and try the free consultation call at: www.navscheiecoaching.com/free-assessment

Your new life is just decision away...I trust you will do what is best for you,

 

Love and Light,

My #1 secret to feel FREE Now. Feel free to copy.

Focus on systems more than goals. Have vision that excites you so much that you can't wait to get up and attack. Time is just an illusion. I focus on progress goals, take time to celebrate success. Bec we are so focused on - onto the next thing. And the next. Like a hamster on a wheel.  Don't know why we got on the hamster wheel. It'd madness. Stop. That's right. Catch your breath. Take a look. How far you have come. Wow. Isn't it amazing? The view looks great from here. Thats right. Stay in this zone just for few more seconds...You have inspired someone last year. Your compliments made a difference. Those flowers you gave made their day. The time you chose to pay attention to your loved ones instead  of your phone brought you closer than ever before. And it's 1:23am in the morning and I just finished watching "Gilmore girls" show from 1990s and I'm feeling pretty darn good. And creative. Hence this post. So what was I talking about....right! Celebrating all the beautiful things and people in our life.

All those times when you picked up the phone to call your mom. Or dad. When you felt good hearing their voice or their hugs felt good. Remember that time? I know you do! And the time you went to go visit your grandma; you know she really appreciated you taking time out to see her,  to hear her about her weeks and stories she shared with you about her childhood, ones that you coukd listen to for hours. Good times! It's starting to feel good, isn't it? This is the life we live, in moments of joy, where little things are actually big things. And remember the time you chose to let go of a friend or a relationship that was no longer there for you...except that time when it's convenient for them. Good for you to step up and say no more. Because you let that friendship/relationship go, you created room for others to flourish.  You have inspired someone last year. Your compliments made a difference. Those flowers you gave made someone's day. The time you chose to pay attention to your loved ones instead  of your phone brought you closer than ever before.


And it's 1:23am in the morning and I just finished watching "Gilmore girls" show from 1990s and I'm feeling pretty darn good. And creative. Hence this post. So what was I talking about....right!


Celebrating all the beautiful things and people in our life. Good job on that part. Sometimes the last year was just a "WTF" moment. Well a couple of them. Ha! Who am I kidding?

And that time when someone wronged you and you got cheated especially when you given so much of yourself into it? Yeah it showed up for some really intense spiritual growth. And you did learn the lessons and you have soldiered on in your life. That's right!! Damn right...Yep..i said "right" 3x now. You can count. No worries.


Remember that time you messed up really bad? Like embarrassingly bad. Or at least it seemed like the end of the world at the moment and now it's just kinda "Not as bad". You know why it's not so bad because you hunny had, growth! That's right. Painful at the time, oh so painful but it does bring a new layer out, that you didn't know you had in you. Now you are stronger.


Life is always happening. I wanna give you props for living the best 2016 you could have lived. This year won't come back. So let go of the heartaches, headaches, sadness, depression (we all go through them...we sometimes get smacked in the face to fall way way down...downer than we thought...bit then we come back with compassion and humility...and it's all good if you are still down there. There is no wrong or right place to be....because you are exactly where you are meant to be.


Ok got kinda stoic there!!!


You still reading? Good. 😊 💕 High-five for reading this far. Bec it takes a skill these days to keep reading long posts.


Let's continue to do what matters. Let's fill more hearts with generosity.  Bec the more we give, our joy multiplies. And not bec 2017 is here, just because we can. And we should try something new at least once. Who knows you might like it and stay on with it.

Let's say "Fuck no" to people or things that don't matter much or suck the energy right out of you. You know what or who I am talking about. That's the thing, we all have this in our life. Take the learnings and move on. Learn what matters to you, get clear on what you are chasing and why?, Question everything! Religiously. Seriously! I'm not kidding. Question: Why do I watch Netflix?  Why is Netflix addicting? Is what I'm watching lifting me up or keeping me down in the dumps. I've been through both situations so I know what it takes to make the courageous choice. You can do it too. I believe in you.


And get over yourself. Over your accomplishments and failures. There are only 2 people at this party - your body end your ego. That's it. Let's stop these parties and focus on serving. No one cares about your medals. Your spirit flies and your joy multiplies when you give, serve others.


Wake up. We took birth on earth to fulfill a purpose...no not life purpose. I'm so sick of talking and hearing about life purpose. No such thing. It's another hamster wheel that's being programming into our little computers, aka our minds. I'll give you a hint - it's about knowing "Who Am I". If I give the answer right away, you won't believe me. It's ridiculously simple. Bec truth is simple.


2017 I will welcome:

Watching sunrises with hubby

Getting up at 4am holy hour to meditate

Lots of Quality time with family  (another least 2x another least week)

2x a month talking to Grandma

A dinner and a movie date with myself

Vlogging about my day to day life on YouTube

Tony Robbins Experience live event

Road trips with Ryan and Buggu

Slowing down

3 day weekends to rest and bubble baths

Naps!!!

5X a week workout

Serving > 100 people

Speak about what matters; something that takes courage

Do something crazy that I can't even think about what it would be

Be there for girlfriends

Keep in touch with cuz far away

Dog park dates with buggu

Grow fresh veggies in our garden

Beach side vacations

Host friends and cook food

Give and get Head massages to/from my mom

Flowers for my mom and mom in law

No tech time after 8pm every night

Pay more attention to hubby than my phone

Take Amrit and live a disciplined sikh life

Summer walks after supper

Imovie video edits pro

Provide empoyment opportunities to an immigrant

Question everything

Do what I want

Break more rules

Put a snake on and get a picture for proof

Parasailing

Go back to India - for a wedding!

Practice detachment

Stay open to much less

Consume less

Read 1 book a month

Implement!!


Because I like to live outside the box. But then again, there is no box.


BOOM.


Peace in your heart, mind and spirit. ❤